San’s Envelope

Prior to my mom’s surgery in August of 2023, she gave me an envelope containing the documents listed below. Admittedly, I didn’t open it until after her passing in September (2024). At the time she gave it to me, in my mind, I didn’t need it. I assumed that the contents were only related to her health care. I just thought she was being overly prepared, as usual; it was a good thing to have, but unnecessary, so I set it aside.

Envelope Contents

• Advance Directive and Durable Power of Attorney for Health
• Georgia Durable Statutory Financial Power of Attorney Form
• Schedule of Personal Assets & Finances (with contact information for financial advisor)
• Final Funeral Arrangements
• Obituary Information (Yep! She wrote her own obituary.)

Everything in this envelope is important, and I’ve had to reference every one more times than I can count. But for the sake of simplicity, and to hopefully avoid a feeling of overwhelm, I’m going to start with what I’ve found to be most important in the very beginning.

Before my first son was born, I purchased a digital “Legacy Bundle” that has several documents, including a Last Will and Testament. Honestly, I found it too overwhelming to complete. Likewise, my mom had a digital 44-page document for estate planning that was never completed, I’m sure because it’s so overwhelming!

I’ve found what she left to be much easier to digest. So far, I haven’t needed any documents besides these. But it’s probably a good idea to complete an official will (which I will start working on).

Provide access to your passwords. Our family uses Keeper to store all of our passwords. My mom not only left her master password (in the “Schedule of Personal Assets…” document), but she also exported all of her password records and printed them out as a back-up.

She left the printed copy in her safe.

At the end of the document is a section called “Additional Info” with three bullets:

• • Key to Safe is… [Include the address as well]
  • Phone Unlock:
  • Keeper App Master Code:

The iPhone has a feature that allows users to add a “Legacy Contact,” someone who is granted full access to your iCloud account upon your death. If you prefer not to do this, or your phone doesn’t have the capability, providing your passwords should give access to everything you may need to access your loved one’s information. It’s been sufficient for me, even with the apps that were secured with biometrics (facial recognition), since I’m able to access them using the phone’s unlock code.

As you think through these items, decide with whom you want to leave envelopes. My mom had three: 1) She gave one to me; 2) She gave one to my aunt (her sister); and 3) She kept one at home.

Make it clear to these people that this envelope is the first place to look after your passing. The day after my mom passed, I did a lot of searching in her house that was completely unnecessary because everything I needed was in the envelope she’d given me. Naturally, I was overwhelmed by my grief, but I had also completely forgotten about the envelope.

This is all an act of love for the people you will leave behind. It will never be easy for them, but you can make it a little easiER.

Also in my envelope was a smaller envelope with a few photos that my mom loved. A couple of years ago, my oldest son told her that she would live to be 103 years old, so here’s what she wrote on the outside of that envelope: